How “The Empire Strikes Back” Changed My Life

One of my most vivid childhood memories is a close-up of Luke in his X-Wing, fighting in the Death Star Battle from Star Wars.  I was about 4 years old when my parents took me to see Star Wars, and I loved it.  I know they took me to see The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi as well; in fact, I have this memory of seeing each in the theater three times.

So, when ESB premiered 30 years ago, I was 6 years old.  You can’t imagine how the sights and sounds of the AT-ATs attacking on Hoth, or Yoda training Luke, or the carbon freezing chamber on Bespin enthralled me.  You can’t imagine my shock when Vader announced the big secret to Luke.  You can’t imagine my horror when Han wasn’t saved at the end of the movie.

Sadly, neither can I.

To be completely honest, I don’t really remember seeing ESB in the theaters.  Countless viewings on TV (either HBO or tape) have diluted my memories of my first times seeing the movie.  I know I saw it — but any feelings of seeing it on the big screen have sadly been lost to the mists of time.

I kind of remember feeling uneasy at the time that Han was trapped in carbonite for so long by the time Jedi came to theaters.  Was he going to be okay?  Would they rescue him from Jabba?  What about Darth Vader?  And I remember not understanding what Yoda meant by “There is another”.  But these feelings are unreliable at best, possibly enhanced by how my mind wants to remember them.

Yet, even though I can’t remember seeing it in the theater (except for the 1997 Special Edition), it certainly left a mark on my childhood.  That Christmas, my brother and I got the AT-AT and the Hoth Battle Playset.  We’d re-enact the snow battle with our Snowspeeder.  We’d play with Star Wars figures all the time, using our Falcon toy to jump to lightspeed.

I remember having a Landspeeder and the Droid Factory from the original movie, but it’s these toys that really resonate with me wanting to live in the Star Wars universe.  I don’t remember getting the Falcon and playing with it until we got ESB toys as well.  I know we had Luke and Ben and Vader with their lightsabers… but that’s only because I remember playing with them at an older age.

So, while I loved the movies, it’s with the ESB toys that I really started to immerse myself in Star Wars.  It’s with the AT-AT and Tauntaun and Dagobah playset that allowed me to make the movie more real.  The image of Luke and his X-Wing were the “first step into a larger world”, but the toys from The Empire Strikes Back were the foot race into imagination.

Happy 30th, Empire.  Thanks for the memories.