The Music of Christmas – Day 21: Monday Music Monstrosity #3

Welcome to Monday Music Monstrosity, where each Monday I will talk about a holiday song I absolutely detest. I won’t link to it because it sucks so hard. I just want to share my pain because misery loves company.

“The Little Drummer Boy”
By the Harry Simone Chorale

This is it. This is my most hated Christmas song.

And God, how I hate this song.

I can still remember my parents pulling the record out of the cardboard sleeve every Christmas, and putting it in the stack of other vinyl Christmas albums. Sometimes it would be the first record played. Sometimes it would be in the middle.

All I know is from the moment the first low rumble hit my ears, I’d start to wince. Then the first “Cooooooooome” I’d be in agony. Every thing about this song seemed to be stretched out, making the pain last longer. Every word sung felt like it was a minute. It surely had fifteen verses.

It’s awful. It’s the type of adult choir where they just sound out of tune even if they aren’t. Rather than melding together into a nice, joyous sound, it feels like old people singing haunting dirges when you can hear each individual person hit a slightly different pitch.

This song plods along, each horrific syllable reminding you that your ears can and do feel pain.  It never seems to end. Growing up I knew I’d be subjected to it multiple times. It was the price I paid for having the Charlie Brown Christmas record included.

Even as I type these words, I’m gritting my teeth. This is not a logical reaction to this song, but, well, I hate it so.

To this day I immediately change the station if it starts playing. If we could delete this song from reality, the world would be a better place.

Bah humbug.

Tomorrow — cleansing the pallette with a Latin pop classic.